Harbuck & Futtock

Milliners of Distinction, this respected firm will create 200 original hats to order, on the spot. Free of charge in the interests of good old-fashioned British Style.

The Carnival of Curiosities

Theodore Fenwicke's three Victorian booths house 'The Man Eating Chicken', 'The Fortune-Telling Head' and 'The Wildman' of Kelvindale'. Roll up! Roll up!

The Teddy Boys

 These 'Big Teds' love to run about carrying their sleepy wee owners on their backs. Sometimes the King and Queen of the Teddy Bears join them for a 'Teddy Bears Picnic'.

The Pirates

They're a rum bunch on shore leave, and they're looking for a new cabin boy. Don't ask what happened to the last one...

The Greenock Yacht Club

The sun's over the yardarm, and its time for a G&T as the Greenock Yacht Club prattle on about maritime affairs and the qualities of a nice blazer.

Redman Blueman

Prowling Redman tracks down hapless Blueman for a cartoon showdown - leading inevitably to 'boxing with flaming loaves'.

Castlemilk Rod Anglers Partnership (C.R.A.P.)

Years of miserable experience testing experimental baits and fishing techniques have not helped these pathetic old codgers ever catch a single fish. Apart from young 'Lucky Frank', who never fails to land a whopper. There's no resentment, naturally.

The Cowboys Last Round-up

Dedicated to rounding up the last of the Urban Buffalo, these cowboys will never give up. 'Yee Haw!'.

The Bay City Rollers Fan Club

70's teenybop hysteria is alive and well, especially when the gang spot 'Woody' trying to keep a low profile.

The Triffids

Accompanied by their Keeper these 'Carnivorous Succulents' need daily exercise. Watch out for your sandwiches, and for goodness sake don't water them.

The Big Babies

Toddlers can be quite a handful can't they? But never fear, Nanny has them under control.... sort of .....

The Cossacks

These traditional acrobatic performers can leap up to two feet into the air (with the aid of their mini-trampoline). Tend to suffer injuries on a regular basis and often need to be accompanied by a qualified nurse when engaged in demonstrations.

The Pedestrian Grand Prix

Leg-powered racing cars compete for the Gold Cup accompanied by a live commentator. Speeds can top six miles per hour on a good pedestrian precinct with a following wind.

The Van Goghs

A whole gang of Vincents (slightly hard of hearing) enthusiastically create 'impressionistic masterpieces' worthy of a five-year old, as they crowd around their subject - be it litterbin or passer-by (may also be 'ANDY WARHOLS' or 'FRENCH MASTERS').